O me of little faith...

 Matthew 6:25-34
²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁸ And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹ yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

³⁴ “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

I should know this scripture by heart. Heard it a million times but I am by far the biggest worrier alive!

This is a picture of my home. I am so thankful for this little house on a hill. We just found out that this house is pretty much covered for the time I am in Haiti thanks to refinancing…Thanks to my mom's hard work on that! Deep down, I was SO worried about what was going to have to happen in order for the house to get paid for…just as He promised, God has totally come through. One of my favorites songs is by M. Ward called "Save Me". Amazing that I know this song by heart but I never remember it when I need to. Basically he talks about how God does all these beyond amazing things (a breath is enough to fill a sail, shifting in his "sleep" makes an earthquake, turns the night to day) but then goes on to say "so how much effort could it possibly take to save me?". Amen! All the doors opening and shutting that are so big to me is such a piece of cake to him. I don't see the reason for worrying just everything that says not to worry. I don't know if its more of me thinking, "He CAN'T work this out" or "He WON'T work this out"…a lot of both. Either way, I am way underestimating not only His power but His grace. I have lived in this house for 5 years almost but before that, I lived not even 3 miles from here. I have literally lived in Whites Creek my whole life with maybe 75% of my family within a 3 mile radius. What an adjustment Haiti will be! 

I don't want everything to seem like its been super easy and no struggle at all. Honestly, everything that is here that needs taken care of has been easy. Emotionally prepping for Haiti, on the other hand, has been a definite struggle the last 2 weeks…almost solid. I have had a constant thought that I am not qualified to go and spread the gospel in Haiti and that I am being set up for failure. Last Sunday was the worst day I have had in a very long time. The kind of day where its beautiful outside but everything I did seemed to be off a little. I was paranoid for no reason, I woke up in a bad mood, went to church and put a smile on my face but was not ok. During the sermon I was all ears when Pastor Ray spoke about how we are not good and not deserving of God's love mercy and grace. I zoned out when he spoke about how although thats true, the gospel is that Christ loves us SO much that he took everyones place and died a perfect death and conquered the grave so that he could shower us with love, mercy, and grace and STILL be able to use us for his glory. So difficult to understand that kind of love. There is no doubt that the funk I was in and the zoning out was the devil trying to do anything he could to get in the way of spreading of the gospel. Its amazing that I am one person going, and the devil doesn't even want one person to spread the good news. He knows himself how powerful God is. That God is able to use even one person in a huge way that I am hopeful will destroy Satan's strong hold in Haiti and all over the globe. I can't wait to see how God uses this loved, unqualified person! 

October Update!!!

  

I'm going to have to say that the theme of this Haiti mission is definitely that God is the     ultimate problem solver! Every time something has come up that I think is for sure going to keep me from going to Haiti, God's totally got it covered! Two pretty miraculous things have happened that I just want to share.

First-I received a call last week from one of the guys in charge of global missions at church letting me know that Immanuel would love to help support me in any area that they can! What a blessing to know that an entire church is so supportive and willing to do what it takes to get me one step closer. Just for the record…Immanuel is literally #1 when it comes to cheering on each other (especially when it comes to something like this). I cannot even count how many people have sent me random text messages and emails of encouragement…I am so blessed to even know them!

Second-Since I received the confirmation that I am going to Haiti, my car has been in the back of my mind. Silly…since it's only a material thing. I have been thinking…ok, I can sell it if I need to…BUT…I will definitely need a car when I get back and I am months away from paying it off. I really didn't want to have to sell it. For a while now, calling the credit union my loan is through has been on my mind. Last week I finally bit the bullet and called. After explaining my situation to the lady and letting her know its ok if she thought I was being completely ridiculous for even asking, she asked if I could get my request in writing so she could present it to the board.  I immediately typed it up and put it in the mail.  She called back the next day and said that they were willing to do whatever they could to help out!  WHAT?!?!?!? She said they could treat this like they do for the military when they go on tours and such by cutting my payments in HALF! Amazing! 

To see God so obviously working is CRAZY in the best way! Not only has he provided these things but he has also provided time with my family that I usually have to miss out on because of work on the weekends. The last 2 Friday nights, I have been able to spend the night with my nephew and new little niece and spend most of the weekends with the whole family.  I don't know where this time is coming from but I am so thankful for every minute. I boohooed the whole way home last weekend when my nephew said he was sad that I had to go home…that kid knows how to get to me. 

Here's where I am as of now. I am still in need of support in all areas. I am definitely feeling your prayers..Thank you…and keep it up! Health insurance has been the most recent issue to come up. Since I am having to quit my job for this, I will no longer be covered once I leave…prayer that an affordable and decent health plan would be great! It is almost daily that something new comes up that needs working out. No doubt that God's got it taken care of already but I still would appreciate your prayers.  

My financial need is still a big one! I have received support already but I am definitely in need for more to cover the cost of my stay. A gigantic THANK YOU to everyone who has been so generous already! AND an even bigger thank you to Josh Brown! He is printing the support letters for me! You rock!

Love Triangle

Pa & Judd at the WWII ship…What a fun day!

Anslee holding Lillie Anne..gosh she is growing!